Such a seductive world we live in. So much at our fingertips. An ever-growing sense of entitlement permeates all of our decisions as we purchase, conquer and consume according to our passions.  I remember when it was funny to see a bumper sticker that read, “He who dies with the most toys wins.”

Ah yes, my Jewish Jesus with His blond hair and sparkling blue eyes.  Sheesh. I have always hated those portraits of the Arian Jesus. But alas, sooner or later the image sticks. Then it’s not so bad.

How many times have we all joked and said. “It’s not my job…” ?

With today’s announcement of the death of Amy Winehouse and with it the expectation that the death will be ruled drug-related, one has to wonder if any of us will live to see the day that employers (in this case, record companies) will be held accountable for deaths of this nature.

My decision to record and perform this classic song was multifold in its design.

1. It’s from “Jesus Christ Superstar,” a creation that not only influenced me musically but kick-started my openness to Christ.

I wrote the song “Burn In Hell” back in the 80s upon hearing about the death of friends. It was a double-suicide committed by men who had discovered they were HIV-Positive back in the day when there was no hope.  Devastated, angry and terrified, I set my feelings to words and music, hardly knowing that almost 20 years later I would resurrect the song for a record.

At my age I find more and more people who have lost their fathers. It’s a common practice in Christianity to repeatedly compare our earthly father (fallible, maybe even evil) to our Heavenly Father (eternal, perfect). Well, as an earthly father myself, I pray that some of these lines may find themselves rather blurred over time. I hope to have instilled many Godly attributes and ideals into my children before leaving this planet and entering into my eternal reward.

Sometimes I feel so depleted, especially on “show” days, like I have nothing to offer despite having so much expected of me. And while I know that God will come through and I’ll be at peak energy and alertness come 7pm, I cannot shake the feeling of emptiness and fatigue and how that colors my entire life view.

I have shamelessly become a huge fan of reruns of the TV show, NIP/TUCK. Since they record in clumps, I tend to also watch them in clumps of four episodes at a time. Last night I was very moved by an episode about a woman horribly disfigured by a suicide attempt.

Ah, yes Valentine’s Day.

Or should I say, Singles Awareness Day?

I’m figuring that a lot of people who will read this are, like me, single.

And alone tonight.

I remember in my temper in my younger years.  As much as I hate to admit it, I was a plate-thrower on occasion. That anger would swell up inside me to a boiling rage and whatever I could grab to throw and break always seemed to make me feel much better.

“O Mary don’t you weep, don’t you mourn

Pharaoh’s army got drowned.”

I remember first hearing this strange song in my teens. I thought, “Consoling Mary, the so-called mother of Jesus with the fairy tale of the parting of the Red Sea? “ It was Tennessee Ernie Ford’s bouncy rendition that caught my attention first. To me it was a joke but he sounded so sincere.  It was as if he were saying, “Mary, I know it’s hard to watch your Son die, but remember how God fulfilled His promises to Moses and the children of Israel? He will do the same thing today with our Jesus.”

In less than a week, on March 1, it will be my birthday. (I’m turning 29 again, btw.) Three years ago, I was planning the CD release party of BURN IN HELL which would take place on my birthday. Knowing full well that there would be a large attendance of friends who wanted to wish me well on both accounts, I girded myself for the inevitable cake, Birthday serenade, and gifts that would have to be opened in a public setting.

I don’t have much to add to this except that Mark Wahlberg has continued to chew on his foot in regards to the media. Over and over again he desecrates the lives and memories of people-no heroes  who may have done far less but stand for far more then he could ever dream of.

I am convinced that (in no particular order) Patti Smith, The Runaways, David Bowie, Iggy Pop, Elvis Costello, Lou Reed, Mick Jagger and more saved me from inevitable suicide. Literally.

My song, TEN TO ONE has a bit of a spotty history, one that changes, I’m sure, depending on who is recounting it.  Well, my blog, my truth…

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