My decision to record and perform this classic song was multifold in its design.
1. It’s from “Jesus Christ Superstar,” a creation that not only influenced me musically but kick-started my openness to Christ.
2. Helen Reddy recorded it once.
3. It’s obvious gender-bending properties when sung by a man-especially one like me. And, even more, especially since it has oft-times been sung as a secular love song.
4. It’s the best kind of love song. A song from a sinner to a Savior who is receiving warmth and love unlike anything previously known. Love the sinner has no idea how to process.
5. It’s really good.
Having performed “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” hundreds of times now, I can see that I was right, no Lord-led, to select it. (Actually I feel like it was assigned to me) Every night I see it touch someone different and in a different way. I love watching people begin to understand who I am sing about. And to.
It also has one mean hook in its chorus that clears up any doubt of my sincerity.
I love Jesus but I had to learn how to love Him. And learn how to receive His love on a spiritual plane. This was (and sometimes still is) hard considering that all other love I’ve known has been in the flesh. While I think love does exist in the flesh it is certainly a selfish kind of love, an “I like how this makes me feel” kind of love.
We believers are learning something completely different. We are exposed to grace in which inhabits an unconditional love that transcends our explanation of the term. God loves us without getting anything from it, without a warm glowing feeling and without charity or sense of duty. He just does.
Singers, actors, comics, etc. are oft accused of being attention-seekers that are missing something in their psyche that needs applause to make them feel better. I’m saddened that so many of my comrades feel this way about themselves. I was called in 2004 to do this music ministry and it was the farthest thing from my hopes and expectations.
I had nothing to prove as an artist, performer, songwriter or preacher. I had been receiving the love of God continually for two decades and that had healed me of the need of positive strokes from people. Of course I love the people who get what I do, share their time, energy and hard-earned money in support for my ministry. I couldn’t continue without them. Of course, their applause and compliments make me feel good.
I simply do not derive my self esteem, my self-worth through my work. By giving me Jesus, God has already made me feel like a superstar. I love what I get to do and who I do it for. It’s an honor to be used in ministry because I get to see God’s love for everybody and over time that has changed how I look at people. And myself.
I don’t have to run up to my Heavenly Dad and show Him my latest Crayon drawing and wait for Him to say, “Nice job, Son.” I can just crawl into His lap and He’ll take me into His arms of love… just cuz.
I didn’t know how to love Him when we started. I’ve learned how to love Him over time and I’m learning more every day.