Sometimes I feel so depleted, especially on “show” days, like I have nothing to offer despite having so much expected of me. And while I know that God will come through and I’ll be at peak energy and alertness come 7pm, I cannot shake the feeling of emptiness and fatigue and how that colors my entire life view.
I cannot be alone in this. No, in fact, God has told me time and time again that much I’m allowed to experience (suffer) is common to most of the people I come into contact with and that most of the human population feels as sense of isolation, futility and sadness at some point. Instead of healing me of my humanness, God has asked me to embrace and learn from it.
I sing, “My hands are empty, my hear is full…” and it is so true. If I take even the smallest increment of time and meditate upon all the Lord has done for me, my heart overflows with gratitude and joy. Yet, I stare and these empty, worthless appendages that serve me and mine but not much else.
Empty, maybe. Worthless, hmm…
If I stretch these hands to the sky, my body says, “I love you, Jesus and I’m open to all you have for me.” If I stretch one to another person, I’m saying, “Nice to meet you” or “How can I help you?” Maybe it’s good that they are empty.
One of my kids who, while trying to be helpful in bringing groceries into the house, held in her hands her keys, wallet and phone. After I ended up doing most of the work I told her that she may have been of better service if she had emptied her hands.
Maybe that’s why God has emptied mine.